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News from Travistan
The Daily Probe Reports from the Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan
Week Two: Travistan in a State of Crisis!
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Occupation of Travistan Enters Second Week
TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - President-In-Exile Travis spoke to reporters for the
first time since losing control of the apartment-nation he founded, saying
the oppressors who currently occupy the tiny nation's government buildings
would be brought to justice as soon as he's able to shower, dress and
procure turkey pot pies for himself.
Meanwhile, investigators say the freak motorbike accident that broke the
beloved Dictator's leg might have been the work of a conspiracy masterminded
by the Fujitanian Fascist Alliance. Forensic evidence at the crash scene
suggests that the moped, owned by Mrs. Fujitani in #1107, might have been
sabotaged sometime before the known Fascist neighbor asked Travis to take it
in for servicing last Monday. "Oh, that poor young man," said Fujitani, adding that she's keeping the moped for her grandson who's away at college in
Oregon. "He was so nice to take it for a checkup while (her grandson) Warren was
gone." Fujitani then retired to her Fascist stronghold to bake a batch of
get-well white chocolate fudge brownies as a diplomatic gesture for the
embattled leader.
The current regime, controlled by forces allied with Mrs. Travis, has held
the president hostage in a leg cast, forced to take Vicodin and prune juice
three times daily.
(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)
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