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12/24/02

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President Travis
News from Travistan

The Daily Probe Reports from the
Sovereign Apartment Nation of Travistan



Week Two: Travistan in a State of Crisis!


Occupation of Travistan Enters Second Week

TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - President-In-Exile Travis spoke to reporters for the first time since losing control of the apartment-nation he founded, saying the oppressors who currently occupy the tiny nation's government buildings would be brought to justice as soon as he's able to shower, dress and procure turkey pot pies for himself.

Meanwhile, investigators say the freak motorbike accident that broke the beloved Dictator's leg might have been the work of a conspiracy masterminded by the Fujitanian Fascist Alliance. Forensic evidence at the crash scene suggests that the moped, owned by Mrs. Fujitani in #1107, might have been sabotaged sometime before the known Fascist neighbor asked Travis to take it in for servicing last Monday. "Oh, that poor young man," said Fujitani, adding that she's keeping the moped for her grandson who's away at college in Oregon. "He was so nice to take it for a checkup while (her grandson) Warren was gone." Fujitani then retired to her Fascist stronghold to bake a batch of get-well white chocolate fudge brownies as a diplomatic gesture for the embattled leader.

The current regime, controlled by forces allied with Mrs. Travis, has held the president hostage in a leg cast, forced to take Vicodin and prune juice three times daily.


(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)





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