Police Praise "Perfect" Carjacking
ATLANTA (DPI) - In an area reeling from several carjackings gone
awry, resulting in deaths of car owners, police chases, and property
destruction, local law enforcement officials are praising one that
went, according to police spokesperson Reginald Reingold, "perfectly."
"There was no attempt by the owner to resist, and there were no babies
in car seats in the back. I hate those," said Reingold. No shots rang
out as an unidentified male walked up to a 2002 Ford Expedition owned
by suburban housewife Barbara Chapman and demanded she "give it up."
Chapman, a longtime subscriber to Home Box Office, understood exactly
what was expected of her, and proved a philosophical crime victim. "I
guess it's what I get for taking that wrong turn on Luckie Street. I
realized the freeway was nowhere near, but by the time I decided to
turn around, it was too late and I was looking into a gun." She called
the police using her cell phone and almost immediately received
assistance from a nearby cruiser. The entire crime took less than 20
seconds, and Chapman's husband Bob, who had just finished lunching
with his wife and works in a downtown office, was able to use some
comp time and take his slightly shaken spouse home with a minimum of
delay. Their insurance company declared the vehicle a complete loss
and the Chapmans had a new one within a week. As Reingold declares
wistfully, "One wishes that all crimes went this smoothly. That truck
is probably in a million pieces by now, thanks to a local chop shop. 10 out of 10!"
(Reported by Brian Jones)
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