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Support Grows for Unionized Suicide Bombers "It is the infidel western dogs who are supposed to die in the street," raged al-Mughi. "Instead, two purveyors of exceedingly fine and delicious foodstuffs ... needlessly obliterated. Amateurs. This must stop." Defiant nods and whispers of "Praise Allah" showed most of the crowd in agreement. Al-Mughi touched on what looks to be a third incident where an unidentified man blew up himself and several goats in a working-class part of town. "In a pine nut shell, what we are talking about here is government work." said al-Mughi. "And in times like this, the government isn't doing you any favors by going with the lowest bidder." The crowd was later treated to a comprehensive 15-minute presentation on suicide safety. Using transparencies, a mannequin and actual U.S spy satellite photos downloaded off the Internet, al-Mughi showed how union suicide bombers receive extensive training abroad, usually in Afghanistan, and are proficient in explosives handling, storage and the use of triple-safe detonators. "Safety is always number one," he said. As the meeting drew to a close, those in attendance appeared eager to support a move away from non-union contractors. One man did raise his hand and politely asked why the rates for unionized bombers were so much higher when things like seniority-based compensation and health benefits were not really considerations. Al-Mughi said the answer required time to explain and invited the man to stay after the meeting. He has not been seen since. |
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