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Musing With Mitch  

by Mitchell Kobriger  

Mitchell Kobriger

If gray is your color, you can save a lot of time not sorting laundry.

Here's a tip: Make French toast with an English muffin and you're supporting the coalition!

Blame it on the old-boy network, but the Japanese will never receive the credit they deserve for world-class salad dressings.

Hot steaming crap on a cracker, when the hell is Foghat coming out with a new album?

Take it from me, folks. Until your bowels start acting up in rush-hour traffic, you haven't known fear.

You guys have a problem with Jesus as my co-pilot?

For my money, there's nothing that beats the smell of newly cut grass. Except maybe a sweaty naked woman.

Those feces paintings may not be for everyone, but to me they're damn fine art.

Mitch here isn't too keen on conspiracy theories, but what do YOU make of those little knobs they're replacing all the street lines with?

Just one man's opinion: Michelangelo's David has a sissy hairdo.

Overrated: Millard Fillmore, Walt Frazier and that "zesty" crap they're ladling on down at Taco Bell.

I just noticed that people don't use the word "commie" much anymore. Damn shame, too.

After my barber's done with me, you'd never know I've had three separate severe injuries to my skull. Sheer genius, that man!

I've got a sneaky suspicion ol' Satan would shit himself if Don Rumsfeld ever stopped down for a visit.

I'll take a dry hacking cough over a wet one any day -- but that's just me.

Searing pain is just one of the many ways Nature tells us to use the right tool for the job, especially where a deep fryer is involved.

Do other people keep a box of Kleenex right on top of their desk? I'm just asking because I do.

There a lot of ways to leave work early, but paper-cutting your way to the emergency room has to be the least fun.

"Hot dish," "casserole," or whatever you call it, just make sure there's plenty!

Life doesn't get much better than when you're eating a 7-Eleven hot dog at 3 in the morning.

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