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Musing With Mitch  

by Mitchell Kobriger  

Mitchell Kobriger

Someone tell all these bandwagon-jumpers that your ol' pal Mitch was wearing masks in public long before this stupid SARS scare.

In my mind, it's not really a snack food without some meat by-products in it.

As far as ethnic cuisine is concerned, I don't think the Canadians have anything to brag about.

For my money, the kazoo is the most democratic of musical instruments.

If I ruled the universe, I'd have something to say about Tim Conway.

Been meaning to see that pineapple museum in Hawaii. Is it as good as they say?

If I had to choose between being replaced by robots or monkeys, I'd go for the monkeys nine times out of 10.

Odd how you never hear of guys named Hop-Sing any more.

If you ask me, all those gays and lesbians really need is a nap.

Friends, if they'd made edible panties in "zesty ranch" flavor, my first marriage would have lasted a lot longer.

Precision defined: my sideburns. Thanks, Barber Tom!

I don't mind admitting, I'm high as a kite right now.

I'll bet they don't sell gasoline through hydrants because they're afraid firefighters would get confused.

Dollar coins are just plain stupid. But quarter bills -- now you're talkin'!

You didn't hear it from me, but bike helmets are for sissies.

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