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Musing With Mitch  

by Mitchell Kobriger  

Mitchell Kobriger

If God had meant for beer to be served in bottles, He'd never have created cans.

To me, the store brand cola is perfectly fine, but I feel bad about all the trouble Coke and Pepsi go to making all those ads.

If cows are so stupid, then just tell me who puts those bells around their necks?

I keep *two* aluminum bats under my bed. If redundant systems are good enough for the boys at NASA, they're good enough for me.

Ol' Mitch's favorite game-day recipe: Pop up some Jiffy Pop; open it up; pour in a quart or so of nacho cheese; eat with a spoon.

I bet Neil Armstrong could have something to say about the true cause of a lunar eclipse, only nobody's ever asked!

The greatest steak topping of all time? Relish.

Just about everybody will be going to see that new Matrix movie. But not Mitch. Couldn't drag me to see that mumbo-jumbo.

If the Nobel committee ever creates a prize for hair-cutting, you-know-who has a nominee in mind already.

Why is it you never see that Dr. Phil guy with a stethoscope?

My favorite words spelled only with the notes on a C major scale: "baggage," "facade," and "gaffe."

You young men looking for wives should take ol' Mitch's advice: Find yourself a tuba player.

Do the brown eggs taste as good as the white ones? I'm tempted to try them out.

You want to know what makes me get up and go to work every day? The dream of owning a riding mower, that's what.

I heard on the news that the Japanese are celebrating the blooming of the cherry blossoms. Man, those silly Japanese.

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