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The Daily Probe's Summer Television Preview!

Time for new TV! The networks have revealed their fall schedules, showcasing the usual mix of surprises! The following are the Probe Picks for the fall's newest offerings!



(UPN, 9:30-10 p.m. Monday)

UPN proves once again that all you need for a night of laugh riots is a room full of hilarious Black Folk! Watch as this wise-cracking social worker (Harvey) battles with his stuck-in-the-70s brother and sharp-tongued twin sons who are wanted for a crime they did not commit. Now throw the whole lot of them in a suburban neighborhood surrounded by white neighbors with their impossible-to-understand Anglo ways, strange speech, and inscrutable mannerisms, and look out! Fireworks of laughs! Starring: Martin Lawrence, Steve Harvey, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, and Tony Danza as the lounge-singing neighbor with a heart of gold.



(FOX, 9-10 p.m. Sunday)

He's done it again! X-Files creator Chris Carter presents this tale of an alien race who attempt to enslave mankind by paradoxically releasing them from the bonds of invisible psycho-magnetic shackles which they mysteriously placed upon themselves during a period known as the "Frozen Years," a time in which man mutated back and forth between primate and pre-reptilian ooze while evil dimensional travelers held the earth's spin in a temporal distorting check where time moved in all directions at once. Or did it? Starring: Gillian Anderson, Frankie Muniz and Tony Danza as The Anal Probe.



(WB, 9-10 p.m. Tuesday)

Tears, laughs, heartaches, smiles and more tears! In the sleepy college town of Wine Falls, two twenty-something roommates learn life's lessons and forge a friendship although they're worlds apart. Both were born to professional parents and a life of New England boarding schools, but perky beauty Kaetlin moves through life cursed with only cute hair, envying her roommate's curves. Spunky looker Krystal battles with unending trials of locks that won't stay put like Kaetlin's! To make things worse, they each battle for the heart of Kevin Steel, the soliloquizing captain of the football team. And boy! They weren't kidding about how cute that hair is! Starring: Tara Reid, Mandy Moore and Tony Danza as The Dean.



(ABC, 8:30-9 p.m. Wednesday)

Just when you think television can't get crazier! One's Samuel, the Greenpeace- and PETA-loving vegan with a penchant for wacky tie-dye shirts! And the other's Satan, the true Prince of Darkness. Look out, Ozzy! In the crowded apartment market of New York, not even Satan can afford good digs without taking in a roommate. But little did he know that he, the volcanic spewer of undiluted evil and creator of all awfulness and pain against mankind, could learn a thing or two about life from a free-wheeling New Age spirit! Look for such Satan-inspired hijinks as Samuel's vegan meal crying out for mercy while he chews it! Starring: Carrot Top as Samuel and Tony Danza as The Father of Lies.



(Reported by Davejames, Graphics by Ross Brown)


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