The Top 5 List The Daily Probe Ruminations Save Martha Stewart!






CURRENT ISSUE


06/10/03

Front Page

Weekly
Features

Advice From Strangers

Ain't That America?

Globetrotting With Push

Moth's Diary

Musing With Mitch

Riding Shotgun With Adventure


Info

Archives
Crap Shop
Who's at Fault?
Contact Us!



Aye, mateys!
Get you some
Daily Probe booty!



Advice from Strangers


This Week's Guest

David Letterman


Dear Dave,

I've got to get a new car. The one I have is crap with wheels. I want to spring for a new Peugeot, but I'm worried I won't be able to afford the monthly payments. Should I splurge?

Worried in Wisconsin


Dear Worried,

Hmmm, Peugeot. Hey, that's a fun word to say, huh Paul? Peugeot, Peu-geot, Peu-geot...HEE HEE HEE! HEE HEE HEE! Uh, anyway, yeah, buying a car is not an easy decision to make. I mean, there must be over a million different cars to buy, right Paul? How can anyone possibly decide on which one to choose? So I say if you decided to go with the Peugeot, than buy the Peugeot. I can't stop saying that word, Peu-geot. Peu-geot. Hee, hee, hee.

Dave



Dear Dave,

My mom is really controlling my life. I can't make decisions without her permission, I can't spend my money without her permission, I can't even date without her permission! I want my own life and tell her to lay off, but I also don't want to hurt her feelings. How should I handle it?

Mama's Boy in Memphis


Dear Mama's Boy,

Uh, gee, that's a tough one. Hmmm, whadaya think Paul? Should we ask my Mom? OK, then here she is live via satellite from Indianapolis, my Mom! Hi Mom, how are you doing?

I'm doing fine, David. Thank you.

Good, so tell me Mom? Do you drive a Peu-geot? A Peu-geot? HEE, HEE, HEE!

No, David, I don't.

OK, that's OK. Uh, listen Mom, we've got a bit of a question here. This guy from Memphis has a really controlling mother, and he doesn't know how to break the ties with her, so to speak. What should he say to her?

David, I think he should tell her to kiss his ass.

HEE, HEE, HEE! You hear that Paul? WOO HOO! HEE, HEE, HEE!

Dave


(Transcribed by Danny Gallagher and Jeff Rabinowitz)







The Daily Probe is updated every Tuesday
or whenever we damn well feel like it.

Copyright 2001-2004 / All Rights Reserved
No use allowed without prior permission.