Is Warren Buffet Supposed to Give Me a Hard-On or Something?
A guest Probeatorial by
By Ron Pahlavi
Oh, Warren Buffet has said something! Oh my God, Warren Freaking
Buffet has spoken! Let me go right now and sit cross-legged in front of
CNBC and stroke my dong while Warren Buffet speaks about what is a good
investment. If he says it, then it must be true, because The WB is the
closest thing to porn that the investment world has ever produced. The
mere sound of his voice gets me as rigid as a rock and ready to erupt.
When he says he only invests in things he understands, I resist my
inclination to think he is a feeble old Buddy-Holly-glasses-looking moron
who can't understand something that isn't a deep-fried hamburger and
instead nod my head knowingly. I would gladly follow him into death
itself, for his homespun investment advice transforms my member into a
battle-hardened jousting sword ready to spear millions in profits.
All hail Warren Buffet! What a fucking crock.
(Transcribed by Mr. Sun)