|
Impaler Beats Bloodenor in Race for Throne of Skulls
FOURTH REALM (DPI) - In what was a very tight race, The Krogathian,
Impaler of Souls, defeated his opponent Furkahl the Bloodenor for the
office of Lord Destructor and Holder of the Chalice of the Fourth Realm.
The seat, left vacant by Vargath the Unwilling when unspeakable acts of
horror reduced him to a steaming pool of liquid, is in Oppression Party
hands for the first time in its history. "The people clearly have
rejected the tired politics of unbearable agony," noted one aide to the
Krogathian campaign, "and have chosen instead to build a forward-looking
bridge to the next Era of the Blood Moon under our party"s
guidance of fearful forced deprivation."
Although numerically close, polls show each pulled in a very different
demographic. For those who listed "values of beast" as their primary
concern, the Krogathian won almost 2-1. Only in the Volcanic Pits of
Misery, where Abominations Against God and Manimals overwhelmingly
reside, and did Furkahl win handily. In his concession speech, Furkahl
acknowledge the support of the Volcanic Pits, and only hinted that the
Krogathian had anything to do with the large numbers who were slain on
the way to voting booths. Furkahl promised that despite this defeat he
would stay active fighting for his party"s causes by raising a large
army of the Shadowy Repugnant to ensure their voices remains heard.
While many will surely point to voting irregularities as the reason for
the Krogathian victories, most will look no further than the second
debate. Furkahl"s inability to tear the tongue from a reporter quickly
enough, allowing him to ask prickly questions about questionable land
deals, was seen by many viewers as weakness. The Krogathian made no such
mistake and by mid-debate a stage full of carcasses and impaled souls
from the Fourth Estate ensured he was tossed softballs for the remainder.
The sacrifices and swearing in will take place on the Seventh Day of Spul
at the Palace Housing the Throne of Skulls. Those who plan to attend
are advised to bring extra entrails and blood.
(Reported by Davejames)
|
|
|
The Daily Probe is updated every Tuesday or whenever we damn well feel like it.
Copyright 2001-2004 / All Rights Reserved No use allowed without prior permission.
|
|
|
|