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8/24/04 Front Page Features Ain't That America?
Probe Interview McQuigly & Moss Musing With Mitch Probe Poll Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! |
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Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty! 
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Musing With Mitch by Mitchell Kobriger |
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Is it just me, or are those women's gymnastics just a little bit erotic?
You go ahead and watch whatever Olympics you want -- ol' Mitch is grabbing a tall glass of zesty Clamato and watching equestrian.
Is there anything that Renaissance man Bob Costas can't do?
I wonder why you never see fat gymnasts or swimmers. You see fat baseball players all the time.
It would be a better world if we all took just a minute each morning to put ketchup on our eggs.
If my parents had named me Oral, you can bet I'd prefer to be called Olly, or O.K., or something like that. Oral's just begging for trouble, if you ask me.
I'd like to be a fly on the wall if my barber ever meets Lee Majors.
If I ever wanted to kill someone and not get caught, I'd beat them to death with a fish. It can't be easy to get fingerprints off a fish.
Don't be fooled: CSI is nothing but a poor man's Quincy.
The only reality show I want to watch is a Mets/Cubs game.
Fellas, you're not impressing anyone. If you're not on the ground working on your car, you can take a moment to tuck your shirttails in.
I think I could have been a decent Greek philosopher, but you wouldn't have caught me dead in a toga.
I don't just like the sitar. I love the sitar.
I think the microwave oven has done more to undermine basic family values than drugs and pornography combined. I have a good friend who practically grew up in a house filled with drugs and porn, but it was only after that damn microwave showed up that his life started going all screwy.
Do we still hate the French? If so, lets all try to mend fences. I kind of missed celebrating Bastille Day this year.
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or whenever we damn well feel like it. Copyright 2001-2004 / All Rights Reserved No use allowed without prior permission. |
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