CURRENT ISSUE 8/24/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America?   NEW!   Ask Zarxnol Probe Interview McQuigly & Moss Musing With Mitch Probe Poll Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	I Do Not Want to Gay-Marry Legolas A guest Probeatorial by Randy Griffin As everyone knows, I am really into Lord of the Rings in general, and Legolas in particular. Yes, I have a lot of posters and collectibles of Legolas. I just happened to be interested in the Tolkien trilogy and the movie based on it. For those of you, however, who have said that I am gay and all, I want more than anything else in the world is to gay-marry Legolas and have him do me you-know-where, I have to laugh. As the greatest of the elves, Legolas would not want to gay-marry me and do me there. So, even if I did want that to happen -- which I don't -- it wouldn't because of the code that Legolas lives by, so I have to laugh because you don't know anything! (Transcribed by Mr. Sun)
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