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Musing With Mitch  

by Mitchell Kobriger  

Mitchell Kobriger

Idea! The feds should start producing $10,000 coins. It ain't worth bending over to pick up a penny someone's dropped.

There's no reason three good pairs of pants shouldn't last a man a lifetime.

If that national security adviser gig hadn't panned out, Condoleezza Rice would have made a hell of a cocktail waitress. Our loss, gentlemen.

Some people just can't appreciate the subtle brilliance of Keanu Reeves' craft, and ol' Mitch is sure as hell one of them.

If I had my way in this world, there would never be another Cheez-It shortage.

There was a time in my life when I overlooked the simple pleasure of a cracker topped with some cheddar cheese, a spoonful of fresh homemade peanut butter, domesticated Amish bee honey, candle-warmed Turkish truffle oil and a filleted Norwegian anchovy or two.

I'm willing to bet that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez's children will be born with superpowers.

For my money, the most moronic board game of all time is chess. End of story.

I'm no comedy genius, but boy, does Nightline need some better gag writers.

Listen up, corporate America! If you can put it in a can, you can put it in a pop-top can. So stop wasting my time and just do it!

John Ritter and Johnny Cash were still alive? Man, I've got to get out more.

You know who really deserves a big, wet kiss from Madonna? My barber, that's who.

Concentration, quick reflexes and a steady hand. Take it from ol' Mitch, these are the keys to cleaning up your bikini area with a propane torch.

No Scotchgard for Mitch. Scrubbing out stubborn stains is all part of what lets us know we're alive.

Ever kill a spider using only the sheer force of your personality? Best feeling in the world!

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