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Baboon Letter To The Editor

Yes, my butt is red. Get over it!

Enough is enough with the finger-pointing and giggling. I am a baboon. My butt is large and red and sticks out like a huge sore thumb. Take a good look at it, make your jokes, and let's move on. No, it is not sore, it does not hurt. I was born like this, just like generations before me. In fact, I don't even think about it until some jerk kid at the zoo has to point it out to his friends. What if I made fun of your butt because it is so small and inconspicuous? How would that make YOU feel?! I have a lot of other features you could notice. Baboons have the prettiest noses of any primate, and the most manageable hair. I was sacred in ancient Egypt. Think about that next time you make a wisecrack about my crack. So move along and go tease the giraffe about his neck or something.

Barry G. Baboon

(Reported by Buddy Fisher)

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