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News from Travistan

The Probe Reports from the Sovereign
Apartment Nation of Travistan

Nation of Travistan Establishes Trade Deal with Safeway

TRAVAMABAD (DPI) - The fledgling Nation of Travistan, established last month by self-proclaimed Dictator and President-For-Life Travis Ruetenik, has announced a breakthrough trade agreement with a Honolulu Safeway store. The store, at 1121 South Beretania Street across from Burger King, will provide the apartment-nation with all of its rice, bread, fresh produce and breakfast cereals, and will share supply rights with the Waikiki Liquor Mart for the traditional Travistani fare of beer and Cool Ranch Doritos. Said President Travis, "Let our people feast of the good bounty that our allies in the Grocery Empire can provide. Let there be Totino's Pizza Rolls for all!"

(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)

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