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News from Travistan

The Probe Reports from the
Sovereign Apartment
Nation of Travistan

President Travis

Travistan Announces Boycott of 7-11 After "Free Cheese and Chili" Scandal

TRAVAMABAD, TRAVISTAN (DPI) - The fledgling apartment-nation of Travistan ended diplomatic relations with a Honolulu 7-Eleven store yesterday as self-proclaimed Dictator and President-For-Life Travis Ruetenik was revoked of his free cheese and chili privileges by the store's Assistant Manager. According to the national Al Traveera news agency, the dispute arises from the "Free Toppings With Purchase of 1-lb Hot Dog and Chips" clause in the trade deal between the two entities. At approximately 9:18pm yesterday, a diplomatic crisis occurred between President Travis and Assistant Manager-In-Training Joey Ocampo, in which Travistan was accused of hoarding humanitarian shipments of nacho cheese into a 32-ounce Big Gulp container bound for the Port of Travamabad. Travistan has declared diplomatic immunity and refused further comment.

(Reported by Travis Ruetenik)

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