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Kofi and Kojo: A Conversation

[phone rings]

Kofi Annan: Hello?

Kojo Annan: Hi, Dad!

Kofi: Son?

Kojo: Yeah, Dad, it's me!

Kofi: Why are you calling so late?

Kojo: I just wanted to check in, you know, say "Hi," so here I am!

Kofi: Ok, well, hi son. What have you been doing since late '98?

Kojo: Oh, you know, consulting.

Kofi: Consulting for who?

Kojo: Oh, you know, different people.

Kofi: Different people?

Kojo: Oh, yeah, you know, there's work all over the place. Consulting and, you know, advising and stuff.

Kofi: Anything big I should know about?

Kojo: Oh, god no. Why would you even ask me that?

Kofi: Well, I am the Secretary-General of the U.N...

Kojo: That's so like you to throw that shit in my face! I am a *consultant*, Dad.

Kofi: I know, I know....

Kojo: People, big people, pay me a *lot* of money to hear what I have to say, Dad! I may not be a "Secretary-General" or anything.

Kofi: I didn't mean it like that.

Kojo: Yes you did! Yes, you did! You meant it *exactly* like that!

Kofi: Do we have to have this argument every time we talk?

Kojo: No we don't, Dad. No we don't. If you'd just stop bringing all this shit up...

Kofi: There's no need to swear, Koj.

Kojo: Don't call me that! Don't call me that! I hate you! I hate the U.N.! I'm stealing every dime I can from the Oil-for-Food program!

Kofi: Wait! Really?

Kojo: Yes, I am! That's who I consult for, Dad. Cotecna Inspection Services SA, which from 1998-2003 held a lucrative contract with the U.N. to monitor goods arriving in Saddam Hussein's Iraq under the Oil-for-Food program, Dad.

Kofi: Ok, well, I apologize. And let's not mention this to anyone.

Kojo: Sure. Good luck, oldie.

Kofi: Thanks for the heads-up, son.

(Transcribed by Mark Niebuhr)

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