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Study Shows Broads Hate Being Called Chicks

MADISON, WI (DPI) - After a six year intensive study, scientists at the University of Wisconsin have been able to ascertain with a 94 percent degree of certainty that broads dislike being referred to as "chicks," according to reports released Monday.

"After extensive studying of these skirts, both in their natural habitat -- such as Pottery Barn or Lilith Fair -- and in the lab, it has come to the attention of the assembled staff here at UW that these babes really hate the whole 'chick' label," reported Dr. David McCluskey, the chair of the University's Weaker Sex Studies Department. "Not only that, but these honeys also seem to dislike being referred to as 'foxes,' 'mattress-backs,' 'sluts,' 'honey pots' and 'cock-holders,'" Dr. McCluskey revealed in a 1500-page report released to the press.

The study, performed primarily by Dr. McCluskey and his staff at a local T.G.I. Friday's on weekends, also revealed that wenches are particularly sensitive about nicknames for certain anatomical parts. "The breasts of a chick should, under no circumstances, be referred to by the following terms: 'puppies,' 'funbags,' 'hooters,' 'jugs,' 'milkers' and 'sweater meat.'" Dr. McCluskey warned. "And don't even get me started on the genitalia -- they really get their panties in a wad over some of those words."

The assembled scientists also revealed the results of a study correlating female attractiveness and IQ level, showing the press the following chart detailing their work:

Dr. McCluskey says the department has already begun a new study which will delve into the effect of alcohol on the aforementioned broads.

(Reported by Greg Preece)

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