Advice from Strangers
This Week's Guest:
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
I have a problem. The guys at school are always picking on me because I'm
very uncoordinated at sports. Heck, I can hardly walk without tripping over
my own feet. I'm like you in that I feel different and left out. Can you
give me any advice?
Clumsy in Columbus
My God, man, are you a girl or what? Ever hear of practice? Try it,
you might actually stop throwing like a girl. And you are NOTHING
like me dude. I can fly. Ever try that, girlie boy? Get your own life,
How is Santa as a boss to work for? My own boss sucks. I don't know
if I can handle this job anymore, but what can I do?
Hardworking In Haverford
Yeah, I work hard, and yes, Santa is a bitch of a boss, but I don't whine
or cry about it, ya little baby. How do you think I got this red nose?
Some kind of magic fairy? Hell no -- I drink. I drink heavily. I drink
anytime Santa isn't looking. I live to drink. My nose just looks
like it glows because it's so damned red from this fucking roseacea
caused by all my drinking. So really, I couldn't care less about your
problems. I'm out of Scotch now, so leave me alone.
(Transcribed by Jeff Rabinowitz)