CURRENT ISSUE 12/17/03 Front Page Weekly Features Advice From Strangers Ain't That America? Moth's Diary Musing With Mitch To-Do List: Saddam Hussein Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Monday 8th December I cracked open my piggy bank this morning to see how much I've saved the past year so that I can hold my head up and kick like a Christian toward the Lord of the Rings syndicate for its final chapter. After emptying my pockets of their change every night, and duly feeding the pig's back, it turns out I've only got $175 to give. Paltry, really. Embarrassing. After the obligatory six theater viewings this winter alongside the Ramen noodle-breathed/living-in-mom's-basement-ed crowds, plus snacks, add in the ancillary costs of the odd flask of The Precious Fluid, THEN the purchase of the dummy DVD in the summer and THEN the five-hour "director's cut and making-of" DVD next fall, and THEN the boxed set of the whole trilogy on DVD the following year, and THEN, finally, the boxed set of the "director's cut and making-of" the whole trilogy on DVD, I'll have just barely enough to be one of the drooling dogs that will push these three movies into the $4b range. I'm not complaining, though. It's still cheaper than church. Tuesday 9th December Gwyneth hasn't told Chris about us yet. I fear an imminent asunder- putting. In an unrelated matter, a reader chided me today for using the word "rebarbative" in a diary entry. It sounds like a lot of bumfluffery to me.
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