CURRENT ISSUE 12/28/04 Front Page Weekly Features Ain't That America? Ask Zarxnol McQuigly & Moss Musing With Mitch Info Previous Issues Crap Shop Who's at Fault? Contact Us! Aye, mateys! Get you some Daily Probe booty!	Police Praise "Perfect" Carjacking ATLANTA (DPI) - In an area reeling from several carjackings gone awry, resulting in deaths of car owners, police chases, and property destruction, local law enforcement officials are praising one that went, according to police spokesperson Reginald Reingold, "perfectly." "There was no attempt by the owner to resist, and there were no babies in car seats in the back. I hate those," said Reingold. No shots rang out as an unidentified male walked up to a 2002 Ford Expedition owned by suburban housewife Barbara Chapman and demanded she "give it up." Chapman, a longtime subscriber to Home Box Office, understood exactly what was expected of her, and proved a philosophical crime victim. "I guess it's what I get for taking that wrong turn on Luckie Street. I realized the freeway was nowhere near, but by the time I decided to turn around, it was too late and I was looking into a gun." She called the police using her cell phone and almost immediately received assistance from a nearby cruiser. The entire crime took less than 20 seconds, and Chapman's husband Bob, who had just finished lunching with his wife and works in a downtown office, was able to use some comp time and take his slightly shaken spouse home with a minimum of delay. Their insurance company declared the vehicle a complete loss and the Chapmans had a new one within a week. As Reingold declares wistfully, "One wishes that all crimes went this smoothly. That truck is probably in a million pieces by now, thanks to a local chop shop. 10 out of 10!" (Reported by Brian Jones)
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